A little feature story I did for a project on Mandie Geller, a good friend of mine with a solo travel story to tell. After my experience studying abroad in France, I learned that traveling alone is a pivotal step in growing up, finding your independence and discovering yourself through new places. It is just important that it's done right.Marrakech, Morocco. October 2016.
"Talk to no one,” he snapped at her through clenched teeth.
This was the first word of English Mandie Geller had heard all morning. Her blood ran cold. She stared into the airport officer’s icy, forbidding, brown eyes. They glittered back into her’s like a pair of marbles, unrelenting, frustrated. Sand-colored dirt dusted his eyelashes and the wrinkles in his forehead. She shivered, trying to remain calm and hold her ground. Cornered against a chain-link fence outside the airport Taxi line, she found herself standing helpless beneath the gaze of two middle-aged Moroccan men.
What is that supposed to mean?Why can’t I talk to anyone? she thought. All she wanted to know was which airport bus to take to Agadir, the coastal town she had planned to stay in. The men weren’t understanding and were clearly offended by her inability to speak the language.
Boom-boom. Boom-boom. As she began to hear her heartbeat ringing louder in her ears, her panic was broken by a familiar sound. Among the flurry of passing travelers, Arabic and French voices and the warm autumn breeze, she heard English. She dashed over to a pair of German women chatting in the city bus line, immediately trusting them for their language connection.
“Why are you traveling alone?” One asked her with raised eyebrows. “Especially here,” she whispered.
Why am I traveling alone? The question was unsettling and she pushed it out of her mind.
She stepped onto the bus, and immediately every set of eyes darted her way. Row after row of straight, unamused faces stared her down. They traced the shape of her body, first to her eyes, then to her golden brown curls of her hair, down her waist to her ripped jeans and then to her sneakers. She felt the eyes on her, like you feel a mist of rain or an ocean breeze. She picked a seat in the back, where she could be alone, where eyes wouldn’t be on her.
“I realized that I had never in my life felt so insecure. Of my body, my clothes, my face, the color of my skin, the way I'm walking and what I'm looking at,” Geller said.
Traveling alone is a rite of passage. As a woman, it’s about being smart and staying safe. It’s your moment of true independence, discovery and empowerment, but if a woman isn’t prepared for the cultural differences of the places she goes, culture shock can be devastating and even dangerous.
When Geller got to her safe spot on the back of the bus, it was her turn to covertly stare. She gazed out the dusty, purple-tinted bus window, and spotted the cab driver that had tried to persuade her to get in his cab for a 150 euro ride. Horns honked and venders cluttered the sidewalk outside the airport terminal.
“People were yelling in Arabic, banging their hands on the windows and side of the bus. We were in traffic, and since the bus was stopped young children were pushed on board by their parents, carrying baskets of water to sell,” Geller said.
The culture shock began to set in. Mandie Geller, a 20-year-old Cal Poly student from Marin County, has always been a free spirit with a travel bug. When she studied abroad her junior year, she decided to do a solo trip to Morocco for a weekend away. It started off rocky, as one of the most testing mornings of her life thus far.
Every year, thousands of women young and old, travel to new countries on their own. Women today are accomplishing more and more, in every aspect of today’s world, than ever before. Nevertheless, it’s imperative to keep in mind ways to stay safe as theft, intimidation and harassment loom as problems for women traveling alone.
First things first: women must do their research. What are the customs and cultural norms of the city? In many Mediterranean countries, if you look a man in the eyes, it's often considered an invitation. In Paris, when you smile at a man, it is seen as a provocation. There are things women can make themselves aware of, such as dressing more modestly to minimize attention from men and modeling their look after local women. Using facial expressions, body language and a firm voice can fend off any unwanted attention.
The next thing to keep in mind is a sense of street smarts. Geller was alone, but she could have come armed with knowledge to keep her safe. She could have carried cash, a phrase book and some key contacts. This is the time to keep on top of your subconscious, your impulses, your instinct.
Kristin Addis, CEO and creator of Be My Travel Muse, is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world. “Walk purposefully, keep your head up, be confident in where you're going,” she advises. “If you get lost in an unsafe neighborhood, be smart about who you go to for help. I usually seek out another woman or a family, or go into a hotel, store or cafe to ask to borrow a phone or get directions.”
A key in staying safe is being proactive about public transportation. What are the cheapest means? In Barcelona, Spain, the cab community is known for ripping off customers, shutting off their taxi lights and asking for overpriced flat rates. What are the safest means? In Budapest, tourists are warned to not use cabs at all, as the taxi market is largely run by the Hungarian mafia. Transportation is important to research and factor into your travel plans before you leave.
Lastly, women must be okay with flying under the radar. In order to stay safe, a woman may need to conform to a new culture. Depending on where you are, maybe keep your little black dress in your suitcase for the weekend. Maybe hold back from being overly loud and advertising that you are an American. Learn what is acceptable, what is considered rude and what is customary.
These are ways Geller could have readied herself and ultimately changed the course of her trip. She learned from her experience, but now sees that much of the beauty of traveling as a woman is what you learn about yourself. It can make you more independent, unprejudiced and self-assertive. The great, reknown Albert Einstein gave words that all solo female travelers should bear in mind. “The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.”
